When it comes to boundaries, we talked about information, organization, and support.
Now let’s talk about how someone can do the work for you.
Ah!
If only someone could build and maintain those difficult boundaries for you!
Wouldn’t it be great if someone could tell your annoying work colleague that no, you would rather not trade a daytime princess shift for their overnight weekend?!
Or to tell your in-laws that as much as you appreciate their help with childcare, candy is not one of the four food groups?
We can only hope. Maybe an entrepreneur somewhere is working on that service…if so, sign me up!
But, back to the issue at hand.
You can get a pretty good approximation of “done for you” help with templates.
One of my favourite boundary templates involves standard scripts for what to say when you want to say no (but you keep blabbering and then turn around and choke out a “sure…sounds GREAT”). Some scripts I use often:
“No.”
“No, thank you.” (+/- a smile…or a scowl–I’m not judging)
“If you would like me to direct my attention to XYZ, which one of my other tasks ABC will you delegate to someone else?”
“Thank you for thinking of me. While the opportunity sounds interesting, it doesn’t align with my priorities for this year” (or for the rest of my life).
“I can’t say yes right now. But if the opportunity is still available in 6 months, please feel free to ask me again.”
I actually polled a group of very smart doctor-moms on their favourite ways to say no. By far, the one they liked the most was #4 above, but I quite like #1!
Question: “What’s your favourite template to say no? If you’ve got a good one, share it with the group!”
