subcribe to the blog
WELCOME to the BLOG
As a mother and a doctor, I know you are sometimes worried and afraid, overwhelmed and overstretched. But your families depend on you to be their foundation. You're imperfect. And that's okay.
Because you are something better.
You're whole, fierce, and unshakeable.
ALL RECENT POSTS:
If you’ve seen Kpop Demon Hunters at least once (or six times like my daughter), you’ll know the HUNTR/X song “How it’s Done.” Cause I’m gonna show you how it’s done done done! HUNTR/X don’t missHow it’s done, done, done(Hey) HUNTR/X don’t quitHow it’s done, done, done Ahem–yes, you’re welcome. But seriously, when do you […]
In her book “Bringing up Bébé,” Pamela Druckerman talks about how French parenting differs from North American parenting styles. French families usually serve meals in courses with vegetables offered first when the kids are the most hungry. Everyone eats the same thing. Kids are encouraged to take 3 bites of everything to learn how to […]
In a very funny writing class taught by Margaret Atwood, she described how privileged male writers in the past used to write: They would wake up and eat breakfast (made by someone else), have uninterrupted time to write in a quiet study, then break in the afternoon for tea (prepared by someone else), wander in […]
Women in demanding medical fields are stuck between external systemic pressures and also a real need for self-preservation. In my case, emerg docs are measured on their speed. Pay for performance. Pay for speed. Of course, we’re also measured on the time it takes to see the patient time to discharge, patients seen per hour, […]
Hmmmm….. I’m actually not bothered when people tell me no. I am also not bothered by saying no to someone’s request. But I know lots of people who find this hard to do. The first question that comes to mind is: “is it so bad to disappoint others?” Because that’s a given, right? If someone […]
The other day, one of the senior emergency residents (who is very comfortable with cardiology, resuscitation, respirology, ICU, and advanced procedures), admitted during a shift that his knowledge of orthopedics was “not great.” He asked his staff to go over xrays with him and walk him through a basic radial gutter slab–something that a third […]
I recently had a chance to speak about the motherhood overload at rounds. It was a really lovely conversation on an important topic. Illusory Effect. Easy-nos. Difficult-nos. How to ask for help when you first become a mother. Whether you should sleep or clean the kitchen. We discussed it all! And here are the questions […]
Do you ever mutter under your breath: “Why can’t people just get their work done?!!” Why is it that you stay to finish the job take on extra work while those around you struggle to complete even simple tasks volunteer to help out at the school event despite having only had 4 hours of sleep […]
When I was in high school, I went camping in the Ganaraska Trail in Ontario. For three days, we wandered in the bushes following the blazes on the trails. We set up camp fires. I slept on a tree branch on a small pond island. I heard a beaver slip into the water at night […]
The good enough mother is both “good” and “enough.” I remember saying this to a small group of women. We were discussing how difficult it was to say no–EVEN WHEN WE WANTED TO SAY NO. More than one of us started to cry. When did “good enough” stop being good enough? If I saw you […]
