Control is at the root of my unwillingness to ask for help.
And control is a function of perfectionism.
Perfectionism exists because of a worry of how others will judge me.
So that leads me to lesson three of lessening the mental load: no one (whose opinions matter to me) will judge.
And here’s the thing–I should also not judge myself too harshly.
This was a hard lesson for me to learn (until I started to have several fantastical failures in the creative spaces of writing, photography, public speaking, and coaching).
If I expected “perfect” from my kids, I was not acknowledging the positive character-building aspects of making mistakes. If I wanted my children to embrace a growth mindset, then I needed to stop my own fixed-minded tendencies.
I needed to stop controlling. It was as much for my good as it was for my family’s happiness.
So this is what I did:
I taught my kids how to scramble eggs.
Instead of having breakfast on the table in five minutes, sometimes it would take 30 minutes. Sometimes, our teeth found that errant eggshell. Sometimes, the eggs were super salty. Sometimes, they were overcooked and not deliciously jammy.
No matter.
Breakfast happened.
We ate.
And we laughed.
Question: “how might you start letting go of control for the sake of your mental health?”
