You all know how much I love journalling for self-insight.
I recently attended an amazing memoir writing workshop.
The man hosting the workshop said something that reframed how I now view writing (journalling in particular), motherhood, and in general–living my life.
He said that the key to writing a good memoir is to write without any expectation that it will ever be read by someone else.
I know, right?
Do all that work and don’t expect that it will go anywhere?
What?!
But…it makes sense.
If you are overly concerned about some downstream goal (e.g. the person who will read something you’ve created; whether the book can be published; whether it will be a success), doesn’t it follow that you will be less honest with the process of creation?
What if someone critiques your memories? (better scrub those details to make you look better).
What if someone laughs at your hard-won and tender experiences? (maybe hide that bit)
What if someone thinks negatively of you because of your internal dialogue? (because some parts are too ugly for others to see).
However, if you surrender to the process of writing memoir, you can write with the intention of understanding (with full honesty) who you were at some point in time. You can get the full therapeutic benefits of working through why you made those decisions. In doing so, when you reflect and examine your story with as much vulnerability and honesty as possible, you can benefit from the wisdom of your experiences.
In this respect, to surrender means to stop fighting the situation, accept reality, release the stress of expectations, and then…
write.
Live.
Love.
By all means, have goals!
But if you’re fixated too much on controlling the outcome and not getting results, consider releasing the idea of the goal to fully focus on the process instead.
You will be pleasantly surprised. A + B might not lead to C, but to a totally awesome X that you would never have imagined possible.
Question: “Where in your life might you want to consider surrendering?”
