In some seasons, being a mom takes precedence.
In others, your career goals take priority.
Or eldercare.
Or a crisis.
And when the timing is right (enough), the season may be to focus on yourself–to put your personal growth needs first.
I’ll state the obvious–yes, men have it easier.
Men have it easier because in general, (there are always exceptions, of course) men/fathers/non-primary caregivers aren’t expected to manage the daily mental load of managing a household. They are often not rewarded nor judged by their peers for how they manage a household.
In general, men are rewarded and praised for being breadwinners and focusing on career goals.
And so the mental load of the household is less invisible to them.
Which then leads to another obvious statement that I will still say.
If you are usually the one handling the mental load in your household, it’s something you’ll want to address as you focus on your personal growth.
I know–it’s easier said than done!
Of course, the best scenario is to pick a time when everyone in your household is unstressed and free to listen, can sit down together, and have a mutually respectful/non-heated/non passive-aggressive discussion about the equitable division of household labour.
There are different tools out there that might make the mental load more explicit (e.g. Fair Play cards) and help you start those difficult conversations.
But what if your partner is still not getting the message?
Or what if you still can’t have that “fair” discussion in a productive way?
I’m going to discuss that in the next blog.
But for now,
Question: “If you have some great tips for how you manage the mental load, can you please share with everyone else?”
