There is no quick fix to burnout.
You are not responsible for the holes in the healthcare system. I hope this is obvious.
It’s okay to feel angry that medical culture penalizes those who choose to be mothers. It does extract an unfair toll.
Expectations for mothers are unrealistic. You know this. I don’t need to tell you this.
And if you’re BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, neurodivergent, or a person with a disability—your challenges are even steeper.
You live in the overlap of multiple opposing demands and unrealistic expectations.
This is today’s reality. There is no such thing as “having it all” or even “having it all, just not at the same time.”
Not for you. Not for anyone!
External factors outside of your control contribute to your burnout, but only you have control over your choices. Only you can navigate your choices as a mother and a doctor, as a caregiver and a role model and a leader in your own life.
Getting out of burnout and working towards your whole life, the life that fills you with meaning and purpose, can feel like a slow hard slog. Very slow. Very hard.
I didn’t have guidance. Most of my reflective inner work was driven out of a curiosity to figure out what I needed to feel whole again. From the time I was burnt out to the time I started to feel good about myself took about 7 years. And then it was another 4-5 years before I felt ready to help people like you.
And while I changed a lot, my working environment DID NOT CHANGE. In fact, working conditions today are worse than when I started as staff.
You can heal yourself first even if the world isn’t ready for change.
The good news is that you can access short cuts I never had. If you’re with a supportive community of likeminded women, are willing to learn lots, have the courage to speak the truth, and are disciplined at building good habits, you don’t have to endure the slow long slog like me.
This work is difficult and frustrating, but I hope you agree with me that it’s well worth the effort.
Kind of like motherhood.
Oh, and kind of like medicine!
Question: How will you turn towards the discomfort?
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